Forty days of dating end result

They both treated the whole thing fairly analytically at first, like a science experiment with cocktails and cutesy little notes they write to each other before their dates. But then, after about a week, it starts to get interesting — mainly because they start to actually fancy each other.

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She, in turn, freaks out even more. He gets a bit turned on because surprise, surprise, he likes crazy ladies, and spends a lot of time trying to not crack on to her. At this point the blog has all the makings of a second-rate Jane Austen novel minus the social comedy. Admittedly about 80 per cent of the relationship peril could have been avoided if they stopped obsessing over every little thought and feeling they had, and then discussing it in therapy.

So compelling that the blog started to go viral — after the first couple of weeks - with up to , people a day were tuning in to see if they were finally going sleep do the deed. And hallelujah, on day they Do It. Cue much cheering, whooping and fist pumping from their many followers. And once they get that out of their system, the experiment seems to go much more smoothly, which makes me wonder if all the aforementioned tension was a giant, mutual case of blue balls. Compelling as it is, some of the posts do grate a bit with me.

And did I mention all the therapy speak?

Tim seems extremely overwhelmed by the idea of having to see me every day for this project. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week! I do love to plan things and have a schedule. However, I also greatly enjoy spontaneity.

So far so good. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. However, when I do decide I really like someone, I am quick to jump into a relationship in order to test it out and see how it goes.

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I become extremely invested in people and things that I care about, which can cause me to fall for someone quickly. Tim thinks I should be more cautious…. Tim is right, I do love love. Apparently, the feeling of falling in love is wired in us to help the survival of our species. While sexual desire exists to make sure we pop out babies, the feelings of love exists to promote bonding and pairing between mates to increase the survival rate of the children.

Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. The chemicals increases energy, increases focus, and helps make us feel fucking awesome all the time. In fact, research shows brain activity in love is almost identical to our brain activity on cocaine.

We went to our first therapy session together. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Why are you doing this project? What is the goal of this project? Do you want to date each other? Are you ready to be hurt?

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What happens if you screw up your friendship? And on and on and on! I almost had a panic attack. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I think it was helpful. But I do save money, while I think she spends.


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I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days. I was sort of freaking out after therapy.

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40 Days of Dating: what happened next?

I was texting with one of my best friends, Greg in Chicago, and he told me to just have fun with it. So, I want to make sure I just have fun with it. Are we afraid to go after what we really deserve? The play is about a bunch of college students going to parties, getting drunk, having sex, and their complicated interpersonal relationships. The characters are either opportunistic, self-serving, entitled, indulgent, or power-seeking.

I found the complicated dynamic of these different personalities to be an interesting twist on the usual character development. After the play, we wandered over to a bar nearby in the West Village for a drink. Tim told me about his last serious relationship with a girl he dated in San Francisco when he worked for Apple. I feel like he broke her heart.

But ultimately, we wanted a lot of people to have access to it. How did your design and illustration work help you process what you were going through emotionally during the experiment? We used design and illustration as a way to process thoughts and feelings. There were moments that were very therapeutic—like on day five, when we drew and wrote things about our exes. After doing this experiment, what dating advice would you offer to a single friend? The project was a really big risk for both of us, personally and professionally.

I was much more reserved before 40 Days of Dating in terms of sharing my feelings and personal life.


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  5. Even my public image on social media was very curated and work-focused. By Carey Dunne 5 minute Read. How did this project change your approach to design work? What was the thinking behind the design aesthetic throughout the book? What career lessons did you learn from the project?